Growing up I had major problems with reading. Mainly because starting in second grade, I was staying up until twelve at night to read, even though I had to get up for school….five hours later. Of course, there are just some things that others never understood when it came to being obsessed with reading…so I mean…heres what happens when you’re a reader.
1. All the actual skeletons in your closet. Seriously, at this point, you’ve had to move your clothes and shoes out in order to fit the skeletons from the dead bodies that are actually linked to the next point…
2. Murdering people that interrupt you while your reading. Seriously, it’s beginning to smell right now.
3. Spoilers… now I stand on the very unpopular side of ‘I could care less if you tell me how it ends because I won’t believe you until I read it myself’. So go ahead, give me some spoilers. Even if I don’t believe you, that doesn’t mean you’re going into the closet.
4. You take forever to get dressed…mainly because you’re actually reading.
Okay, so as a girl, people have often expected me to be the one that takes the longest because of makeup and hair, and well, other stuff that confuses me on how long it takes. (Even now, after adding makeup and throwing my hair into a half-ponytail and hairband, it only takes me fifteen minutes to get dressed). When I was younger my mom had to get me up earlier than my dad or brother just because I would get up to get dressed, and read at the same time, turning a usually five-minute process into two hours. So anyway, besides my personal experience, as a reader, your going to take longer to get dressed. It’s just fact-boy or girl, you’re going take months, years, decades, centuries, even.
5. You’re cool with car trips. Because you can read. And motion-sickness is totally worth it. However, that Arby’s sandwich you ate, isn’t.
6. Finishing the chapter actually means “finish the book”. However, asking to finish the chapter works a whole lot more than asking to finish the book. I mean, it’s really the same thing in our eyes, but a lot of people just don’t get it.
7. Bookstores are the one place you feel at home. All the other places make you uncomfortable-mainly because you’re not entirely sure how to react in a situation when your best friends aren’t around.
*Looks around for the hidden door to an alternate world.*
*Frantically searches for someone you recognize*
*Finds Bookstore*
*Screams with joy*
*Gets kicked out for screaming because you’re actually being disruptive*
8. Going anywhere without a book is illegal, and a little strange.
“Just because it’s a dance doesn’t mean I can’t bring a book. I mean, what if their’s a crazy mad-vintage dancer that pulled out a marshmallow gun and won’t let us use our phones? Then how is my kindle going to help? Therefore, I need this book. This book I will take.”
9. Bathroom trips take forever. Because you’re not actually on your phone, or even doing your business. You’re reading the book you stored under the bathroom sink.
Oh, wait…is that just me?
Well, Sugar Cookies.
10. You actually always have to be reading something. Subtitles are your best friend. You see, it’s not so much as what you read, but the act of reading. So really, you’ll read anything. A hardware manual, the back of a shampoo bottle, the ingredients in cooking oil, how to install a wifi/cable modem, the menu to your least favorite restaurant.
*Flips over a bottle of shampoo you’ve been using for years*
“Wait a minute! This is supposed to be tear-free! Oh, wait..that’s tear-free. That doesn’t actually make any sense. Why would shampoo tear your hair?! Okay, anyways-holy sugar cookies! I need to get a new shampoo brand!”
So I’m not entirely sure how relatable this is, but for me and my brother, it’s pretty relatable. And we’re a majority of the almost-extinct reading community. Let me down below if any of these are relatable, and if you’re a reader. We’re a dying breed, and if people don’t understand us, then they aren’t worth being around.
Stay Ginchy!
HaziWords

4 thoughts on “When You’re a Reader

  1. megisacat says:

    Yeah I feel like there have been actual studies showing that you actually enjoy books & movies more when you know the spoiler. Or like people rate that they like the thing at least the same if not more as people who didnt know the spoiler. I know Ive been convinced to watch several movies and read several books just from being told a spoiler about them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HaziWords says:

      Exactly! I’ll enjoy the experience anyway, and really, it’s good to know if I need to break out the tissues and chocolate.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I absolutely love this! I’m a big reader so this is my everyday struggle – I’m forever getting up late because “just a few more pages” xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HaziWords says:

      It’s an end-of-the-world problem. =-D

      Like

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