Where I started, Writing

Yeah, it’s story time with Hazi!

Woohoo!

—-I’m trying to pump myself up for this, it’s not working.—-

Okay, so I was thinking back to when I started writing, back when I was ten (I thought it was eleven, but no, it was ten), and I remember so clearly why I fell in love with writing.

Story telling has always been apart of my life. Even when I couldn’t read-I would grab a book and tell stories via the pictures-it was how I kept myself calm, and what I did to calm my little brother down.

My life wasn’t great when I was little, my family was disfunctional. My default escape was to daydream. It was how I put myself to sleep, and how I woke up. I could take myself away to places unimaginable, and when I got older, talking to God was my escape.

But when I talked to Him, I would tell stories, because He always felt like a friend.

And I kept this up when I was older.

Now, I didn’t love writing stories from the beginning, I actually hated writing.

Even though my imagination was incredible (as said by my mother), my writing flat out sucked.

Which was amusing, because my love for words put me elgible for a spelling bee (which I turned down because I didn’t like it getting in the way of my volunteering, and church-yeah, I’m a bit of a weirdo, and no, I’m not lying).

So in fifth grade, I had to write a story, and I was fighting the living sugar cookies out of that. That was when one of my online teachers said something that always stuck with me: I want you to write everything that comes to your mind for thirty whole minutes.

So for thirty minutes, I wrote, and there was my story.

After that, it launched an entirely new love-writing.

And from there, it became my escape.

I could get away from the real world, including my eternal dialoug…which was eating me alive.

So by the time I was eleven, whether it was depression, or teenage hormones or just the stress of everything hitting me, I was emotionally struggling.

I didn’t know how to handle myself, mainly because I hated myself, I was my own bully. I couldn’t explain how I felt toward myself, but I needed to express it somehow-thus brining around journaling. It became the only thing that kept me from cracking.

My words came out in that.

Then, I found it slowly entering my stories.

All my pain, and bad emotions, would slowly disappear in my life when I wrote. I would develope with my characters-and my mom saw. When I didn’t write; she knew, and would prompt me to write.

Writing inevitably has been the one thing God has given me that keeps me going.

And I’m happy to say-this was the most confusing post in the world.

When did you write, and does writing have the same effect to you?

Stay Ginchy!

HaziWords

When your a Writer

The second part to my totally ginchtastic post is, well, when your a writer. So let’s just jump into this.

1. The talk.

As a writer, your destined to get a talk, specifically the talk. You know, the one where people inform you that writing can’t be your sole career, and you need a back up. It happens soooo many times.

2. LEMME SEE!

This one is flat out self explanatory-it’s the pressuring every writer loathes, but deep down inside longs for, in hopes of some great writer asking to read your work.

Kinda.

You kinda wish this, I should say.

3. Between the Lines

Now, for me, personally, I’m a between the lines kinda gal.

If I let you review my work-and you give me a vague over view, but I’ve also read about six different sub-texts-heck, I’ve translated it through the scraps of varying languages I know (I pick up words from conversations and TV shows). It’s a problem, and from what I’ve heard, its an all-around-writer deal. So note: When Reviewing a Writers Piece, don’t leave room for subtext parcing.

4. We’re never here.

Legit, I’m almost positive every single writer has a tendency to get a little…daydreamy, and when we do, good luck bringing us back-because we’re never really here.

5. We’re late

Because we came up with an idea, not because we overslept.

In fact….

6. We never Really Sleep

Sleep is over rated, finishing this chapter, this, this is important.

I can get my nine hours when I’m retired-or dead. Most likely when I’m dead.

7. We’re exhausted, and hungry, All.The.Time.

Really, the entire reason is we’ve become one with writing our characters, so really, we’re living as someone else (but not in a creepy way).

8. Ships for All

As a writer, you’ve gotta be clever, specifically, you’ve gotta be able to make a ship-name, and pull up ten different fan-fic ideas for anyone-at the drop off the hat.

Why?

Because we’re writers, and you’re there for our romance fix.

9. We pull from life

If you ever get the blessing of reading our pre-edited/published work, and you notice pieces of our life in our work-thats because it is. Don’t freak out if you find yourself in the story; go with it, because nine times out of ten, it’s not half bad for the story.

10. We aren’t Confident

Don’t get us wrong, we believe our stories can make it, we believe these stories are world changers, we just aren’t confident in ourselves yet. I’m seeing that this post is geared to writers in my generatkon, mainly because we’re an emotional generation, and despite societies thoughts, we know when and when we can’t handle things.

So if you think the stories good, support the author, not just the work, because they’re the non-confident ones.

And that’s what happens when I’m a writer. I swear I’m one in a million, but I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and say theirs others.

Anybody find these relatable? If so, which ones? Also, what’s the hardest part for you with writing-I’m editing, and then I have a query letter.

I hate it, so, so much.

Stay Ginchy!

HaziWords

April Songs-Musical Madness April

And today on I’m grasping at straws for titles, I give you-

The songs I’m jammin’ to this April.

1. Lovely-Hollyn

Based of my favorite word, by one of my artists; what could get better than this?!

2. Holiday; My Kid Brother Remix– Britt Nicole.

Because it’s catchy, that’s why.

3. Workin’ On– Colt Ford

The musical video makes me cry.

Every single time.

4. Faster Car– Loving Caliber

This is Apmau’s fault. I’ve been binge watching her videos in prep for Season 6 Mystreet.

How does something go from comfy comedy to werewolfs and intense love?

I dunno, but I’m down.

5. Boasting– Lacrae

Hey, seriously, this song is really catchy, and I’m in love with it.

6. Broken Prayers-Riley Clemmons

This is so intense, and such a reminder!

I totally love this song! It gives me a warm feeling and makes me smile.

(Hey, I used to think it was weak to cry and feel things from a song-my friends and I bragged about it; now I’m learning emotions are okay, so I may or may not be using them quiet alot).

7. All I need is You-Hollyn

So it was initially done by Lacrae, but this was the first time I heard it, so I think I’m more intune to this one.

8. Live for the Drop-Capital Kings

I’m really into this band in ways unimaginable.

9.Thunder-Imagination Dragons

As per usual, I’m late to the party, but it’s one of the few songs that are modern that my mom enjoys, and I have to agree, and I really don’t know why.

10. My Light House-Rend Collective

Shout out to when I used to sing this song.

Bonus Song! The song that drives me nuts, because I can’t tell if it’s catchy, if it makes me want to become a musician, or if I dislike it because it annoys me, or if I just dislike the band because it painfully hits home about being stressed out, but anyways, Twenty Pilots-Stressed Out.

And you thought my music choices couldn’t get any stranger, right? Anyway, what songs are your jam, and have you heard of these?

Stay Ginchy,

Things I do when I’m upset

Hey guys, sorry my postings have been shotty, it’s been such a weird few weeks, I’m either sick, studying, or trying to recuperate from volunteering, being sick, and studying. Anyway, recently I had a bit of an upset (nothing major, just a bit of a hit-hard review on a story, they were totally nice, but you know, the whole putting myself into writing part makes it hurt a bit more), and I realised that I have weird mechanisms to co-op with my problems. I mean, I know my mom’s response is cleaning, and my brothers is mowing the lawn or bike riding, but for me, I have a tendency to let myself simmer, and keep my problems to myself.

I mean, I though.

Until I realised I have cooping mechanisms.

(And that friends, is how you pull out of a writing funk-you come up with better ideas).

So I give you, how I handle things when I’m upset.

1. I take showers.

Now, I like showers, but I’m not into the showering twice a day, but when I’m upset, I take a shower, get out, and want to take a shower again despite the fact that is a waste of water and I have a two weird fears;one of water, and one of falling through the bathtub.

(Never tell a six year old that someone fell through a bathtub at the hotel, it emotionally scars them).

2. I organize…not properly, really it’s just removing things from shelves and replacing them. I also hang up clothes, I don’t know what’s with this family and cleaning when they’re mad, but let me tell you, when it’s a bad week and everyone’s cranky, we have one very clean house.

3. I use it as an excuse binge eat and watch TV.

I use this to justify something that I already do to much of when I’m fine.

4. I rage trash, get rid of and throw away things.

No, this doesn’t count as cleaning. I deleted a story once when I was really angry.

I really could use those 30,000 words I deleted.

I’ve also gotten ride of good clothes just because I feel terrible.

*Stares at Goodwill pile*

*Considers pulling out clothes.*

*Thinks about all the hard work I put into it.*

*Lays back and continues procrastinating*.

5. I lose it. I have a temper, and while the last time I lost it was four months ago, when I’m really mad, I just loose it, and let’s just say that I know what to say to make someone hurt.

6. I rage write.

I’ve killed off multiple charcters.

It’s a good thing I have no social desires or, like to be around people when I’m upset.

7. I listen to music and Journal.

This is what’s kept me from losing it-when I’m upset, I Journal, and they can be long entries, up to ten pages.

8. I cry.

Mainly I do this while I’m doing all of these. I cry easily.

“Hazi, those shoes don’t look too great…”

*Breaks out in tears*

“Well okay then.”

9. I hold my Guinea Pig. It’s theraputic, until he tries to eat your tears…and then it’s just terrifying.

10. I talk to God.

I’d call his prayer, but it’s more of a full-on-rant-sob-story, and even though I do all of these things, it’s the only thing that helps me. I don’t do well talking to others about my problems, but I need to talk, and this is what I need.

So what do you do when you’re upset? Anybody else rage cleaners? Its so weird because I’m a slob, but when I’m mad/sad/anxious I’m a maid. You have never seen a more organized bookshelf.

Okay, so maybe books are the only thing I organize, but whatever.

Thanks for reading, and I’m so sorry for being such a lazy bum for posting, I promise I’ll try harder. Thanks for staying loyal!

Stay Ginchy,

HaziWords