Things I don’t understand…

It’s been a while since I’ve made one of these late-nigh, phone written posts.

Very old-school Hazi.

Anywhozzzz, a little while ago I cracked into a mid-night snack (I’m pulling an all nighter at my mother’s job, and broke into their snacks), and ended up having some salt and vinegar chips, and then I realized something.

I don’t know why they exist.

I don’t even know why I eat them- they taste terrible, your breath smells terrible, and that moment that they hit a raw spot in your mouth or on your lips, don’t you know that hells going to break through the floor.

That being said, this made me realize, there are a (surprising) amount of things I don’t understand, besides those stupid chips, and here’s a few of them:

1. People’s constant desire to be touchy-feely.

Now I’ve always been an independent person, I mean to be honest, my mom can always figure out I’m sick or just not feeling great emotionally by my cuddle-level.

Most people like to hug there friends.

I just don’t understand it.

Who created this mind-numbing task in which you have to breath on me (with a usually not-minty fresh breath), and give me a lovely notice of either your lack of deoderont-or over use you cologne/perfume.

And it’s not even the smell, or just hugging alone, it’s just every bodies desperate desire to constantly be touching each other (don’t be gross), like touching arms, holding hands, shaking hands, etc.

To be honest, though, I really think it has to do with having a history of guys as friends, or just growing up with them being apart of my family life.

Oh that’s nice, you think that someone’s just going to pat your arm?

Let me introduce you to an Indian rug burn.

Oh, you want a hug?

Let me introduce you to the headlock-noogie.

Oh hand shake?

Really?

How about a nice hand DECAPATION?! (Hand Squeezes are real in the rough house community).

Even still, with the understanding of where my aversion to that general area comes from, I still don’t get why people do it so much.

A slight head nod and smile works for me. (Social Queen).

2. Why Celery is a suggested popular snack

It’s bland.

Even slapping some peanut butter on it won’t save it.

Why is it a healthy “alternative” snack, when I could very well eat a Lara Bar, and be good to go?

Sure it has more calories, but also, at least I won’t spend ten years pulling strings out of my teeth.

3. Tradations

Why would I eat Ham or Turkey for a “special meal”, when I’d much rather just break into this pie.

Excuse me, who decides that we should eat our carrots before pie for a celebration?

I demand Sweet Potato Pie and a Banana Pudding right now.

4. The English language.

Did you read that right?

Or did you read it right?

See?!

THIS IS WAY TO-TOO CONFUSING.

5. Geography.

I don’t understand why I need to know about the climate in every single country that exists, when we all know that you’ll only go back around and tell me that there are a few exclusions.

6. Aversions to electronics.

Have you ever been at a family function, and you get bored of listening to mundane conversations, so you break out the Legos to play with your friends, and the adults yell at you for not being around others enough?

No. I haven’t either.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s okay if you spend time ignoring people on your phone at these functions, I’m just saying that people need to stop getting so triggered about it.

Don’t get mad at me when I say this, but seriously, if you’ve got all the kids playing Minecraft (or Roblox if it’s those types of kids), I don’t see a problem-because nobody is cleaning up a Lego mess, nobody is stepping on Legos getting mad about the mess, and nobody is physically in pain.

Yet.

I swear there are only so many times I can /kill Cody without him realizing what happens, and why I’m doing it-because I have worked my butt of with this house, and I don’t appreciate him blowing up the first floor Everytime I move onto the second floor after repairs to the one the kid blew up.

Honestly.

I now really don’t see the difference, because I’m sorry, but Cody was going to end up with with something smacking him in the first place, and it’s no longer a Lego platform, but rather his laptop.

Okay, so those are a few things I don’t understand, but hey, let me know if you’re into finding out more, and if any of these confuse you as well.

Stay Ginchy!

HaziWords

I’m Okay Without A…

*Okay, before I jump into this, I want to apologies for slacking on my blog, I’ve just felt like crap emotionally, and I know that when I tried writing, it wasn’t my fullest (since last year, summers have been the worst for me), but I’m back, getting ready to reboot the blog for fall (I feel like I do this every year, reboot for the cooler seasons, which is like the start of a year for me), so stay tuned for that.

Now let’s jump into this post that I thought was actually pretty clev

I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to clap back at all the people who have been getting on me about dating.
Because, to be honest, I don’t need a boyfriend, except for one reason.
Me-(Screams, jumps back, staring at threating looking spider) Holy-
(Spider moves some)
Me-(Whips out phone to call prince charming) Hey! Answer your phone! Did you seriously forget to add me to your contacts?
Imaginary Boyfriend- Hazi, I’m literally right here. What’s the matter now?
Me- (Screaming and shuttering some) It moved. The spider is big and it moved.
Imaginary Boyfriend- (Unimpressed) Hazi, that’s legitamately just a clump of hair.
Me- (Looking around) How is that even possible?! We’re at the bookstore!
Imaginary Boyfriend-You’re hair is literally everywhere. My mom found it in her shoes this morning, and you’ve never been to our house.
Me- Yes, yes I have….oh wait…never mind…
To be Frank give me a crap load of bug bomb, some raid and a bunch of heavy things to throw at spiders, and I’m self sufficient. So here’s why I don’t need a boyfriend/husband
I don’t need a guy, because I can be totally money-savvy and sufficient.
Me(Looking at brother with pride)-Dude, you would not believe what I just managed.
Brother(Looking up from book)-What?
Me(Holding up three packets of Raman)-I just got these three packets of Raman for 20 cents. I’m so responsible.
Brother(Frowning)-But mom let you borrow twenty dollars.
Me(Nodding)-Yeah, I brought this dog(holds up guinea pig) And a toilet brush. And this take-out container along with this pair of reading glasses and these flip-flops.
Brother(Staring in disbelief)-You don’t even like flip-flops. And how the heck did you get all that with twenty dollars-and you don’t even need glasses.
Of course, we could reverse this situation.
Me(Looking at brother with pride)- Dude, you would not believe what I just managed.
Brother(Looking up from book)-What?
Me(holding up three packets of Raman)-I just managed to score these three packets of raman.
Brother(Frowning)-But mom let you borrow fifty dollars.
Me(Nodding)-Yeah, I know. Prices are crazy right?
Brother(Staring in disbelief)-But you could have brought groceries for a week.
I mean, to be blatantly honest, I can make 20 dollars stretch, but for the life of me, if I’m given’ one hundred dollars, I suddenly forget everything I need and want and manage to buy three cheap things, and I’m still broke within a few days. Another post for another time, eh?
Anyway, I can buy my own meals.
Me(Examining the restaurant in my area)- Right, so, I’m kinda feelin’ like I could use some fries…
Brother(Giving me an exasperated look)- Just about every place sells fries.
Me(The clear genius)-Yeah, I know, but I need the right fries. I can’t figure out if I’m in the mood for burgers and fries, or just fries, or fries and-
Brother (Looking at phone)-Yeah, but theirs legitimately three places you can afford, and McDonalds isn’t one of them.
Me(The strong independent girl that I am)-Right, going to call dad and smooth talk him into getting me fries.
I can fix my own car. Seriously, I can change the tire, check the oil, replace ball bearings and joints in larger cars, check the antifreeze, get into arguments with it, jerry rig the door. I’m a master at it.
Me-Looks like I need to pry these bolts off. I’ll need a monkey wrench.
(Picks up wrench with Guinea Pig attached)
Me-Seriously, Squishy, you’re ruining my pun.
(Pulls Squishy off of to reveal a monkey wrench with a monkey painted on it).
Me-Much better.
I can make myself laugh. Seriously, I could be lying in bed, and next thing you know I’m comedian.
Me-Ah yes, I shall now set fire to their house…
(Evil Laughter)
Me-Yes, burn, burn baby, burn.
Brother-(Busts into room)Two Things, one, You’re getting a little concerning with the Black Widow challenge, and two, about Atlantis.
Me- I’m not playing the Sims 4. I’m writing a story. I just set fire to their house. I’m the grand-master of evil.
(Evil Laughter)
I’m not really lonely. I don’t actually have desperate desire’s to marry someone so that we can cuddle. I have that covered.
Me(Sitting up groggily, looking over a long-pile of blankets, almost human shaped)-You take up the whole sugar cookien’ bed.
Dog(Lazily crawls out from under the covers, unimpressed)-Growl.
Me(Frustrated)-I am so done with this relationship. You’re hogging the entire bed, and you don’t even go to bed at a reasonable time. You’re the only creature I know that can sleep for twenty hours and still be tired.
Dog(Rolls on back)
Me-(Awed at cuteness)OHMYGOSHLOOKATYOUBEINGSUCHAGOODPUPPYILOVEYOUSOMUCH.
I can do my own lawn work. Not that I have any to do yet, but I can take care of that stuff when I get older.
Me(Staring at grass in disdain)-Geez, it’s getting so tall. It needs to be cut.
Me(Calls brother)-Dude, I need you to come cut my grass.
Brother(Being the totally compassionate guy that he is)-Uh…Okay? You live in an apartment.
Me-Just cut the grass. I’ll pay you in Hot Tamales
(A few minutes later)
Brother (pulls out sheers, cuts small patch of fake grass I’m “growing” in a pot)-There?
Me(Proud, and released)-Excellent. C’mon, I got the Hot Tamales in the fridge. Didn’t want them to melt.
Brother (groaning)-Well that was your worst pun yet.
I can compliment myself. I’m secure in who I am. I have the ability to compliment myself and make myself feel like I’m drop dead gorgeous.
Me-(Rolls out of bed, stumbles to nearest mirror) Geez, I look like crap today. Really good crap, I mean, to be honest, my hair’s not to shabby, and I’m not so revolting that I need a paper bag over my head so…
Me-(Getting dressed for the day) Now this is something I like, and won’t totally regret wearing in the next two years.
Me-(Staring at myself in the mirror) Yes. I shall no longer be humble. I shall rule the world with confidence-
I can pick myself up out of an emotional rut.
Me-Wow, I look terrible.
Me-Wow, I feel terrible.
Me-Wow, I sound terrible.
Me-Wow, I’m terrible.
Me-Right but God made me, so how terrible can I be? I mean, He doesn’t exactly make mistakes.
Me-No, but you can turn yourself into a making a mistake.
Me-Exactly. So if I can continue to screw up and convince myself that I’m a mistake, and I can make good decisions, and convince myself that I’m not a mistake.
Me-Woah. That’s some deep thoughts right there. I’m feeling so amped up! I’m gonna set my alarm for seven thirty, and get up early, work out, eat healthy, be happy.
Me-Slow it down, take it one step at a time. Don’t forget that God’s suppose to help you through this stuff.
I can handle my own bills and taxes. I mean, I don’t have any personal ones yet, I’m still a minor, but I’m sure I can.
Me(Walking up to front desk of bustling building people are housed in)-Hey, can I get a hot meal and a room with a window toward the Cafeteria? Also, could I share a room with that one chic who is really good at singing the alphabet backward? And can I get the complimentary outfit in stripes, because, to be honest, orange is never my color.
Front Desk Worker-Ma’am, this is a jail, are you drunk?
Me(Clearly not drunk)-Love, my card was declined when I went to buy the half-off sale of Raman noodles. Do you seriously think I could buy alcohol? Also, is that stuff even legal?
Police Officer Friend-Oh, it’s you, what bill is it this time?
Me(Removing earrings)-Medical bill. Doctor thought I had severe food poisoning, so I got sent to the E.R.
Police Officer(Clearly intrigued by my fascinating story)-Well what was it actually?
Me-I have a dairy intolerance and I ate an entire ice cream cake by myself in one thirty minute sitting, so you tell me.
Police Officer (Nodding knowingly, turns to front desk person)-Right well, this one’s a regular. You know, broke student, no clue what she’s doing with her life, other than breaking a bunch of things and racking up bills and taxes she can’t pay. Give her a room with the best window of the house, and make sure she get’s an extra minute and half in the shower.
I can get into arguments with myself. Really, I don’t need a guy for that. I can argue and annoy myself just by complimenting someone.
Me-Right, that person has some really nice shoes. I’ll just let them know.
(Compliments shoes)
Me-But how cute were those shoes? Do we really like those shoes? I mean logically, they kinda have that animal print look.
Me-Yeah, but they’re boots. Boots are attractive even when they’re muddy. A little animal print never hurt anyone.
Me-That’s not what you said when you went book cover shopping.
All joking aside, I can take care of myself. It’s how I was raised. So to all the people out there that think that I need a guy in my life to make me special, then you’re wrong.
It’s not like I’m generally saying I’ll never have a boyfriend, I mean, I’m totally open to it, unless the guy’s a patriots fan- I’m friends with some, and while yes, I can excuse them because everyone makes mistakes, I can’t date a fan. Ever.

My daily Thought process

Hey guys, sorry it’s been a bit since I’ve posted, I really don’t want to post unless I can find you my best, which, right now happens spuratically, until I can get things running a bit smoother.

That being said, here’s my daily thought process, because that’s interesting.

———————————————————-

*Wakes up searching for phone*

Five more minutes should be good, that’s all I need, five more minutes.

*Changes alarm for five minutes*

*Hits snooze*

But do I really need to get up, I mean, I can get changed in five minutes. And do I really, really need make-up? It only takes me two minutes for that, that’s seven minutes right there. And I can wait to go to the bathroom so….

*Two Hours Later*

Oh my gosh, I am so hungry. What can I have for breakfast?

I should eat healthy.

Man, check it out, we have Nutty Bars this morning. Score!

Okay, I need to sit down, and write.

What is this, about a nuclear war?

Honestly, people are flipping out about this divorce with Jolie-who the heck is she? Was she in Oceans 11?

Oh no that was Julia Roberts.

That scene where she looked “nothing” like her was great.

I should use that.

Or something like that.

Is it plagerism if I borrow the idea and twist it?

Jeez I’m hungry-okay, you can eat after you edit this paragraph…

But I can’t think on an empty stomach.

My stomach’s always empty.

So’s my brain, apparently. All I had for breakfast was a nutty bar.

Maybe I’ll have something more healthy for lunch, like…grapes…and this chocolate bar.

And maybe I’ll make a sandwich.

Minus the bread, so just some cheese and meat.

Okay, I’m back. I need to focus, and then I need to do my Geography.

After I play the Sims 4, and watch a video.

Okay, I’ll stop playing after this video.

Awe man

LilSimsie, Aphmau, and Sweet and Tasty TV all posted at the same time.

What are the odds of that?

Okay, I’ll start school after I finish this-dude.

Hold up.

How long is this post anyway.

You can’t possibly expect me to document every thought I have in a day.

That is however all I have for this post.

Stay tuned next time to read me write (that… I’m trying to make it sound write, how’s it working?)…

“How about the camel bursts in with his feet on fire, and then puts the bomb fire out with his body sweat?”

Stay Ginchy,

HaziWords