It’s been a while since I’ve made one of these late-nigh, phone written posts.
Very old-school Hazi.
Anywhozzzz, a little while ago I cracked into a mid-night snack (I’m pulling an all nighter at my mother’s job, and broke into their snacks), and ended up having some salt and vinegar chips, and then I realized something.
I don’t know why they exist.
I don’t even know why I eat them- they taste terrible, your breath smells terrible, and that moment that they hit a raw spot in your mouth or on your lips, don’t you know that hells going to break through the floor.
That being said, this made me realize, there are a (surprising) amount of things I don’t understand, besides those stupid chips, and here’s a few of them:
1. People’s constant desire to be touchy-feely.
Now I’ve always been an independent person, I mean to be honest, my mom can always figure out I’m sick or just not feeling great emotionally by my cuddle-level.
Most people like to hug there friends.
I just don’t understand it.
Who created this mind-numbing task in which you have to breath on me (with a usually not-minty fresh breath), and give me a lovely notice of either your lack of deoderont-or over use you cologne/perfume.
And it’s not even the smell, or just hugging alone, it’s just every bodies desperate desire to constantly be touching each other (don’t be gross), like touching arms, holding hands, shaking hands, etc.
To be honest, though, I really think it has to do with having a history of guys as friends, or just growing up with them being apart of my family life.
Oh that’s nice, you think that someone’s just going to pat your arm?
Let me introduce you to an Indian rug burn.
Oh, you want a hug?
Let me introduce you to the headlock-noogie.
Oh hand shake?
How about a nice hand DECAPATION?! (Hand Squeezes are real in the rough house community).
Even still, with the understanding of where my aversion to that general area comes from, I still don’t get why people do it so much.
A slight head nod and smile works for me. (Social Queen).
2. Why Celery is a suggested popular snack
Even slapping some peanut butter on it won’t save it.
Why is it a healthy “alternative” snack, when I could very well eat a Lara Bar, and be good to go?
Sure it has more calories, but also, at least I won’t spend ten years pulling strings out of my teeth.
Why would I eat Ham or Turkey for a “special meal”, when I’d much rather just break into this pie.
Excuse me, who decides that we should eat our carrots before pie for a celebration?
I demand Sweet Potato Pie and a Banana Pudding right now.
4. The English language.
Did you read that right?
Or did you read it right?
THIS IS WAY TO-TOO CONFUSING.
I don’t understand why I need to know about the climate in every single country that exists, when we all know that you’ll only go back around and tell me that there are a few exclusions.
6. Aversions to electronics.
Have you ever been at a family function, and you get bored of listening to mundane conversations, so you break out the Legos to play with your friends, and the adults yell at you for not being around others enough?
No. I haven’t either.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s okay if you spend time ignoring people on your phone at these functions, I’m just saying that people need to stop getting so triggered about it.
Don’t get mad at me when I say this, but seriously, if you’ve got all the kids playing Minecraft (or Roblox if it’s those types of kids), I don’t see a problem-because nobody is cleaning up a Lego mess, nobody is stepping on Legos getting mad about the mess, and nobody is physically in pain.
I swear there are only so many times I can /kill Cody without him realizing what happens, and why I’m doing it-because I have worked my butt of with this house, and I don’t appreciate him blowing up the first floor Everytime I move onto the second floor after repairs to the one the kid blew up.
I now really don’t see the difference, because I’m sorry, but Cody was going to end up with with something smacking him in the first place, and it’s no longer a Lego platform, but rather his laptop.
Okay, so those are a few things I don’t understand, but hey, let me know if you’re into finding out more, and if any of these confuse you as well.