I HAVE A STORY

Well

Can somebody direct me into a Crash Course on Click Bate titles? Please?

I digress, grab a drink and a hearty bowl of popcorn, marshmallows, and chocolate (Fany cooking post coming soon)-and settle down, because boy, do I have a story for you.

So recently I’ve had to take a bit of a break from blogging-and as I’ve stated, mentally and physically, I’ve been through some stuff.

That being said- during that time I was surviving off of college classes and other classes-specifically, an English class.

And might I just say, English class actually gave me quite a bit of anxiety.

I know, I know, the irony.

See, the thing is, I’m a lot of things (entertaining, adorable, clever, the list goes on), but I am above all, not the most excellent person; grammatically. I might have a general idea, but everything I’ve grown up with (from how to place commas, to fragments), was blown completely out of the water.

So anyway, my teacher was a good teacher, she worked with my constant emails (midnight panics as my grade dropped from a B to a B minus), and was overall very reasonable.

Again, though, grammar was suddenly something I was lacking in, and very suddenly, I couldn’t stand constructive criticism.

So it was my last paper rounding the corner, I had managed to pass that, but the paper I had worked so hard on (How to Save the World), had failed. My teacher had, however, given me the chance to rewrite it, and boy, did I take it.

My citation, it was scum, I was at the writing center twice, to find out how, and then to double-check that I had done it right-however, I still needed to do more.

The grammar, total trash, the layout? Actual peril.

My poor internet besties had to listen to my panic attacks about my grade as well as everything else.

And while there are benefits to being good friends with a plethora of writers, they couldn’t be at my beck and call, trying to fix the mess that was my paper.

What they could do, however, was come up with one HEXUVA suggestion.

Try Grammarly.

Naturally, I was like “Psshh, yeah, whatever”, the stubborn bored person in me doesn’t take help from ANYONE.

However, the stubborn bored person also needed to make sure this grammar hit the mark, and while I was still prodding through fixing it, and it had bettered a great deal, it was still something that you’d find in a Wattpad fan-fiction (A.K.A every single one of my stories).

So I relented, and made the plunge, opening up the browser, I created an account.

And I pasted my paper to the little checker and wow-WAS I SURPRISED. While it did give me general things that I had missed, it also showed me where to tighten up my paper, and things beyond that. Suddenly, I was seeing mistakes, and realizing how I could make the paper better!

And the happily ever after lands where we are today with a nice healthy B.

The point is, that yes, I’m here to promote Grammarly, but my desire to, came from what I experienced from it, and can I just say, the help it provided was incredible. I HIGHLY suggest, that if you’re a student, blogger, or writer (or in general just a person who relies on proper grammar), you check out Grammarly-which I happen to have a link for.

 

That being said, let me know do you use Grammarly? What are your thoughts about it?

New post coming Wednesday!

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Why I believe in Being a Rejected Misfit

**Quick clarification-this is another essay I wrote during my school project, it’s not perfect-I wrote it in a bit of haze-and it’s one of those things it was a bit complicated for me to write. This is a majority of who I am, it’s the story behind yours truly.

 

“Why am I not good enough?” These are the words that played over in my head on repeat for years on end, creeping up on my every laugh, my every comment, or movement.

Those words turned into internal apologies to those around me, in and out of my life. The words shifted into “I’m sorry, I’m not good enough.” I’d like to say that to this day, those thoughts don’t creep up on me, that my laughter doesn’t have a backlash to it. It does, though. These thoughts streamed from years of “You don’t matter”, inadvertently thrown my way, until one year, I faced the people my parents had been spending years defending me from. For the first time in my life, the words “You will never matter.” Left one person’s lips, in an extended, very clear, meaning. “You don’t deserve what you have.”
       Still, I stood there, offering a second chance to this person, trying to give them the broken pieces of my trust, the little I had left, and just like that, they walked away. I was, dejected, disheartened, but most of all, suddenly, very, very, alone.
My parents worked hard to keep me away from this targeted negativity, it’s a little bit harder to do when it’s your own family rejecting, and hurting you, though. They were stuck in a cold, hard place- give up their family they had, or, the family they had created. Guilt was my close friend following that decision. I had put someone in a situation unfair to any man on this earth. I hated causing the inner turmoil, I despised the emotions that came with it. I tried to cover up these emotions, though. I had to prove everyone wrong-prove that I meant something. That I did belong. That there was a reason I was here, and those who never had a chance, weren’t. Why I survived, and they had to die. My rejection from those supposed to love me, started long before my birth, at the unfortunate passing of those who were to born only months before me. The question posed to my parents was few words, but the most painful to hear, and answer.”Why does she get to live, and they had to die?” Throughout my childhood, this statement still lingering, I was pushed aside, teased, and overall, I developed a keen eye for the “unintentional” insults thrown my way. Time and time again, thrown into the idea that I never mattered, and never would. I was never worth giving up certain events for or even listening to for ten minutes. I was never worth enough to be concerned when I was very sick. I was, cold-heartedly rejected.
       The emotions from such a task played hard on me, but I still fought to strive. During these years of pain and rejection, I played with the idea of proudly being an outcast, or even, a Misfit. The term was something my brother and myself had played with for a while, deeming ourselves the “Misfit Twins”, due to the years spent arguing with people who insisted on us being twins. Of course, the term, “Misfit”, used then, meant very simply, “A Different Kind”, but following, the word took on a whole new meaning for us.
We had always played as the outcast in our family, as mentioned before, rejected, both of us in our own ways, feeling the pain. We searched for a way to embrace this difference we felt toward our family, and eventually, to society. Misfit seemed to fit the idea. We were different, we were unique, never meant to fit the mold, proud to have it broken after our design. More importantly, there was a particular song that played a role. “Welcome to the Island of the Misfit Toys”, a rendition done by KJ-52. The song spoke the powerful words of how God loved everybody, and how, even though we were misfits, outcast by our family and society, God was still there for us, He still cared, and, by some small hope, we believed we actually mattered. Even though my parents pushed reassurance of love, and positivity on us, the pain we both felt meant something.
Following the reclamation of the term, and our proud new use, I had another decline in my views on things, the questions I had asked appearing again, apologizing again. I struggled with the idea of being rejected, of being pushed away, but like the term of Misfit, I wanted to turn it into something positive. I didn’t need their acceptance, and to this day, I couldn’t tell you what good enough, actually was. Maybe, I preferred to be rejected for not being good enough, maybe I preferred to be rejected by them, because, if I was accepted, then did that mean I was like them? Perhaps. I continued to plead with God for my purpose, to give me the peace my heart longed for, to give me the strength to heal, to forgive, to finally rest. In the meantime, I decided that a reject was someone I was, and I wasn’t made to always be accepted. I believe in being a reject, I believe in being a Misfit. I believe that God created my story to be that of a Rejected Misfit, and it isn’t as bad as it sounds. I believe that I am here for a reason, I believe that I am, and always will be, a Rejected Misfit, a term I will proudly proclaim.

How To Save the World

            **So while I was away, I did a bit of writing. And when I say bit, I mean a large chunk. Mainly for my English class. This is one of the essays I wrote (I can’t promise this is the edited version-my one drive is a mess), this one is my all time favorite. I’d love to hear your thoughts-and am always opened for tips on improvement!

How to Save the World

I was sixteen and had been volunteering passionately for roughly a year when the question surrounding my age of volunteering in such a high-intensity position surfaced. While my volunteer job itself involved handing out toiletries, towels, and other small needs to the ladies who stayed at the local Rescue Mission-what I witnessed could wear any person out quickly. Still, faithfully, for roughly a year; every Friday, Saturday, I would volunteer. Every time, a sense of comfort filling me as I walked down the white tiled floors, quilts hanging on the walls. And though I felt comfort from my volunteering position, the question always played on my mind. “Why is someone so young, volunteering here?”

And for a long amount of time, my only positive response was “I don’t know”. Even though I knew that I had dreams of saving the world, I knew that the answer wouldn’t be enough for those questioning ears. Then, on the brink of it all, as yet another argument broke out upon guests, as a mother ushered young children to their room in order to avoid the drama, it struck me. What makes my volunteering, any different from the children having to live in it? I, in fact, had benefits. I had positivity, and parents who had raised me to know that it wasn’t normal, but there were children who still lived to see that every day-mothers who worked to defend their child from that weekly. After this conclusion, I accepted that volunteering had become my drug, and rather than sitting around seeing the dullness in the world, I would be the one to cause the slightest amount of light. Of course, while my passion lies in that, I know that volunteering isn’t a widely accepted passion throughout the United States, and even other places. With this understanding, and the judgment I received from my good friends, and fellow classmates, I decided to take it upon myself to prove to the world, that there were mutual, universal benefits to volunteering. At the end of this report, I hope to have inspired you, at the very least, to learn more about the opportunities that surround, and possibly even start small, by touring the organizations that offer these opportunities.

Mental health awareness has come on the rise recently, addressing and bringing to light those who struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental disabilities. Very little are aware, however, that according to the National Survey of Drug Use and Health “An estimated 9.8 million adults aged 18 or older in the U.S. had a serious mental illness (SMI), including 2.5 million adults living below the poverty line”. (SAMHSA 2015) Alas, we see that there is a great need for help in the communities that some find hard to see-but the question still stands; how? How can we help those who are struggling with mental disabilities, if we ourselves are struggling with them? Previously Dr. Anna Ziersch, and Professor Fran Baum (of Flinders University), conducted a study using 530 people, using questions of their mental and physical disabilities, and how volunteering affected it.  In their study, they found that the more groups people were involved in the worst their mental – and physical – health. In this, they admit that there are flaws in their study. (Salleh 2004) With this information, it only proves to question, how can volunteering possibly be a positive thing, on the mental and physical health?  According to the Help Guide article, they bring up the benefits of volunteering, one of them being the positive mental and physical health experience. They note that it can increase self-confidence, bring the idea that you are a part of something bigger. They also found that those who volunteer more are more active, which helps to lessen chronic pain and heart disease. In volunteering, it builds a solid support system, and there are even places that you can volunteer at that have opportunities to get help for mental health, that way, it’s mutual help. In another study, data was drawn from a survey of Texas adults, containing a statewide based sample of the adults. They found that volunteering was related to better health outcomes, and should be, in conclusion, promoted for public health, education, and an in general, a healthy lifestyle. (Stegal & Robinson 2019)

If you’re concerned about not having enough time to put toward volunteering, and your own personal development, in career and life, then perhaps recent article findings might bring some ideas to spark a little help in you. Forbes and Non-Profit Hub brings up that volunteering will give you a chance to make connections and develop new skills. (Shinn 2017; Horoszowski 2015) Perhaps you’re fresh out of college, looking for a job-then maybe putting a few hours into different organizations, using your skills might provide you with the little boost you need. Maybe you have a little extra time on your hands and are curious about taking up a new hobby, but don’t know what or where to start. Volunteering provides the opportunity to pick up new hobbies, skills, sharpen old ones, and even make connections. I grew up volunteering in an organization that helped the homeless, and after eight years, I was able to get my first job within the organization without much of a struggle; this being because I had established myself and my work.

Now, if you’re uncertain about volunteering, in fear that these organizations are actually more business-oriented, hurting more people rather than helping (such as taking money from those they are trying to help, and the public), this can be assured that this does not happen as frequently as new channels might mention, or even the public themselves. If this is something that truly concerns you, however, you can take the time to possibly tour the place you’re helping, as well as learn how it works. Possibly take the time to converse with some of the employees. Overall, volunteering can benefit in many ways, and taking the time to learn about where you are volunteering is an even bigger help, to everybody in an all-around circle.

Perhaps you’re the parent of a young child, always having to reign them in if they get rowdy. You’ve been reading through this the entire time thinking, “What about me?” Have no fear; we have a solution for this as well. In an article by Amanda Lewton and Angela Nievar, they note that research has been found to be beneficial surrounding volunteering, offering rich resources, and deepening relationships.  (Lewton & Nievar 2012) As glorious as this does sound, though, I know it can be hard to find the time or patience to do so-let alone, finding a place for them to volunteer. Certainly, you would have a hard time bringing a child into the soup kitchen, but perhaps there is something they can hand out, such as napkins, or utensils. Maybe leading a children’s group is complicated, but perhaps they could just as easily play with the kids or help assemble small things. Walking and feeding dogs could be taxing for a young child; however, playing with puppies be something the child finds exciting. In every larger thing, there is a certain way to help your child interact. My mother had scheduled our first volunteer job by the time I was seven years old, stuffing Christmas cards for the local rescue mission (one of the biggest fundraisers of the year). My brother was five years old and placing stamps on the envelopes. She then continued for years to have us, volunteer, moving us into the kitchen, and later on down the road, into where I currently volunteer. The long-term benefits are evident, as I developed a sense of responsibility, and later on obtained a job through the organization we first stuffed Christmas cards for, years ago.

After all of this, if you’re still uncertain about how to volunteer, and go about making small changes to the world, possibly look into local nursing homes, soup kitchens, or even Animal Shelters. There’s no doubt that even if you struggle physically or mentally to get around, that there will be something for you to do. All along, though, you’ve heard the benefits of how volunteering can help you; but when getting started, don’t forget the key reason why you should also be volunteering: To help save the world. Volunteering has so many benefits to you, but when you become active, helping in any way you can, whether it be big or small, you will slowly pick up on the change. As someone who has spent so long volunteering, and later, working with volunteers, I can say for certain I have seen the changes it has made to the community. Every day someone new is learning how, and where to help, and now that you know, you too can help spread the awareness, and take some time to volunteer, and in the long run, help save the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work Cited

 

Horoszowski, Mark. “5 Surprising Benefits of Volunteering.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 19 Mar. 2015, www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2015/03/19/5-surprising-benefits-of-volunteering/#6655a848127b.

Stegal, Jeanne, and Lawrence Robinson. “Volunteering and Its Surprising Benefits.” HelpGuide.org, HELPGUIDEORG International, 25 June 2019, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm

Shinn, Claire. “8 Long-Term Health Benefits of Volunteering.” Nonprofit Hub, Reward Volunteers, 14 Apr. 2017, https://nonprofithub.org/featured/8-long-term-health-benefits-of-volunteering/

Salleh, Anna. “Volunteering Can Be Bad for Your Health.” ABC, Abc.net.au, 17 May 2004, www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2004/05/17/1108476.htm.

Lewton, Amanda R., Nievar, M. Angela. “Strengthening Families Through Volunteerism: Integrating Family Volunteerism and Family Life Education.” EBSCO Industries Inc, October 2012 http://web.a.ebscohost.com.ezvwcc.vccs.edu:2048/ehost/detail/detail?vid=11&sid=2610c323-fd01-460f-9f26-1a29bcd61ffc%40sdc-v-sessmgr01&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#AN=82248840&db=a9h

“Serious Mental Illness among Adults below the Poverty Line.” Serious Mental Illness Among Adults Below the Poverty Line, National Surveys on Drug Use and Health, 2015, www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/report_2720/Spotlight-2720.html.